Today was another roller coaster sort of day. It's incredible to me that just eating sugar and flour products can have such a numbing effect. Though I haven't been binging or compulsively eating I can see that I've still engaged in some emotional eating... Well now the feelings are here full force. People who are a normal weight or even slightly overweight seem to have a hard time understanding what it's like to live as obese most of your life. Everything seems to take so much effort. Regardless if you are trying to take a physical action or opening yourself up to another ( especially someone your into sexually romantically) it takes a lot. Society is not kind to bigger people. Many bigger people are not kind to themselves. It's very cyclical and I've been stuck in it for most of my life. Though I am determined to break the cycle with the help of a higher power...one who often manifests itself though loving people in my life. I never lose hope and faith. This is what has gotten me through life's challenges and this one is no different. The bordem munchies have totally kicked in. I'm smoking a little hookah but it doesn't help. It's not the best choice either but it's important to take one thing at a time. This has been one of the lower eating weekends of my life. Though I'm hoping to eat healthier on the weekend as time goes on.
Onto the food:
Meal 1: omelette with chicken, bacon and veggies. Apple slices.
Meal 2: 5 guys burger no bun with an order of fries, veggies and mayo.
Meal 3: handful of peanuts and strawberries
Tomorrow is weigh in day for the month. Let's see...
youre still doing awesome dude. be kind to yourself. as much kindness that you give others you deserve to give back to yourself as well.
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