One week down...munchies and more

Today was another roller coaster sort of day. It's incredible to me that just eating sugar and flour products can have such a numbing effect. Though I haven't been binging or compulsively eating I can see that I've still engaged in some emotional eating... Well now the feelings are here full force. People who are a normal weight or even slightly overweight seem to have a hard time understanding what it's like to live as obese most of your life. Everything seems to take so much effort. Regardless if you are trying to take a physical action or opening yourself up to another ( especially someone your into sexually romantically) it takes a lot. Society is not kind to bigger people. Many bigger people are not kind to themselves. It's very cyclical and I've been stuck in it for most of my life. Though I am determined to break the cycle with the help of a higher power...one who often manifests itself though loving people in my life. I never lose hope and faith. This is what has gotten me through life's challenges and this one is no different. The bordem munchies have totally kicked in. I'm smoking a little hookah but it doesn't help. It's not the best choice either but it's important to take one thing at a time. This has been one of the lower eating weekends of my life. Though I'm hoping to eat healthier on the weekend as time goes on.

Onto the food:
Meal 1: omelette with chicken, bacon and veggies. Apple slices.

Meal 2: 5 guys burger no bun with an order of fries, veggies and mayo.

Meal 3: handful of peanuts and strawberries

Tomorrow is weigh in day for the month. Let's see...

Day 6...5k an mood swings

Got up early this morning and walked a 5k with some friends in about 40min. This was for an organization known as NAMI. The walk was fairly easy. I went swimming after that then out 2 a couple bbqs. I had a few mood swings today and am ending the night on a sad feeling. I'm my own worst enemy and I'd I could get out of the way I know I would be better. Oh well! At least I'm not eating bout it.

Onto food:

Meal 1: larabar, palmful of almonds w raisins
Meal 2: pork and roasted veggies.
Meal 3: hamburger patty
Meal 4: hamburger patty, onions, bacon, mayo and sweet potatoe fries,oj

Day 5...weights and cloudiness

Wow I was really distracted today. My mind seemed to keep wandering and I caught myself staring into space a lot. Don't know what that's about. I did weight lift today and had fun. I'm definitely losing some strength. That's to be expected initially with a calorie restriction and lower carbs. I'm not necessarily doing that on purpose but it is what's happening. I feel like I have been on a very long bulk :) now its time to cut down. I had a lot of cravings today but managed to stick 2 plan. I did have burger and fries at Denny's without the bun... Not bad bit not the healthiest either. That part of making something a lifestyle though...oh and I must have dropped some weight already. I fit in a smaller pair of pants! Will weigh in on Monday for my monthly weigh in.

Food for today:
Meal 1: small potato, orange pepper and an egg cooked in olive oil.

Meal 2: more buffalo tenders from yesterday, small sweet potato and mixed greens. Iced tea w/o sugar of course.

Meal 3: hamburger, 2 bacon, egg and French fries.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to do a 5 k for NAMI. We will see.

Day 4-Power of positive thinking

Today felt a lot better in regards to my moods and my thoughts. I think that I was starting to get into another funk because life has been rather odd this past month. Today felt like the fog was starting to slowly lift. I didn't feel as run down today but I also had some caffine which probably helped. I've been reading this book about how thinking about God and thinking positively effects the mind on a neurological level. This has got me working hard to practice what I preach and work on being more mindful. My thoughts are slowly becoming more positive which is a bit step in overall wellness. It also makes healthy eating easier. I'm enjoying spending time alone or with Nana dog contemplating positive aspects of the universe. The universe has also started to send me some fun people to talk to and hang around which I believe is a direct result of positive thinking.

It took me a while to get hungry today. I didn't eat til fairly late. My friend and I went to water aerobics and worked out with many elders. It was actually a lot of fun and my heart rate went way up. You can totally use the water to get a great workout. The trainer was nice too so that was definately a plus.

Here's the food for today:

Meal 1: small package almonds
Meal 2: buffalo chicken (skinless tenders with some olive oil and tabasco buffalo sauce), mixed greens and a sweet potato. Iced tea no sugar.
Meal 3: Key lime larabar. Iced tea no sugar.
Meal 4: eggs, potatoes and a red pepper cooked in olive oil with salsa. A banana.