5 weeks into the challenge...kicking sugar

So it been almost 1 week since I stopped eating sugar including natural and artificial. For those of you who are keeping track that's no gluten, lactose, or other forms of sugar. This time around has been a bit easier. I believe it's because I've reached out for help and I am enjoying life more. I'm starting to come out of my shell so sugar doesn't seem as appealing.

I've realized that I've spent a lot of my time hiding, when it's clear that people have wanted to see me. Being fat renders a person invisible in many circumstances, regardless of gender. As I reduce my body weight and no longer remain the "biggest" person, I am seen. That's a bit of a struggle for me. However, as I learn to love myself and truly embrace that I and god are one, I find myself wanting to be seen.

I'm very excited because I am now part of the unity church and feel like I have been guided to be there. I will be teaching Sunday school to little kids! It's a great addition to my life which is already full of abundance and blessings. I have great people and work in my life. I can't imagine life getting too much better except for me reaching a couple of life goals.

Here they are:
-be a personal trainer
-run a social work type of program
-have children in my life (partly there now)
-start a healing center one day
-publish a whole book (I have had a story published)
-travel the u.s in an rv

Folks ask me from time to time if I would like a life partner. I am already blessed with great companions. I'm definitely not opposed to it if that's what the universe intends...but for now I am content.

Thanks for reading. Will weigh in may 1st and post the weight at www.bodybuilding.com/goalgetter28

1 month down

Well the first month is over. There have been some ups and downs food wise. I feel calmer now as I have removed gluten, dairy and now recently sugar from my diet. I was sick with yeast issues and this food change helped. I did have one slip up from sugar but that's all. Now I'm working on a lot of emotional stuff so hopefully I can stay abstinent. I'm getting a counselor soon to help me on the journey. I weigh in at the actual beginning of the month. I will keep you posted. This months goal is to try and focus on healthier food and less greasy stuff.

3 weeks in and several realizations

Hey everyone! It's been a few days since I've posted. It looks like I may be blogging weekly or as things happen. I'm finding I don't have time 2 keep a daily blog.

So I did some work on food issues an came to the realization that I was taught I could not trust myself and consequently my body when it comes to food. I began telling myself different things revolving around the idea that I can indeed trust. I also spoke to some people who are close to me about this. I've admitted I am powerless over my food addiction. As long as I refrain from gluten and milk I seem to do well. So I've decided against a more restrictive food plan... We will see what that does.

I've also been fairly sick w an infection. I missed aqua class for the past week and have only lifted 2xs this past week. Hopefully it clears up faster so I can get back in the pool!

Day 16...not very hungry

Well my anxiety was down a bit today which was good. I am taking some measures to help myself outside of food and fitness. Hopefully I will continue to heal on all levels. I would really like to be a personal trainer one day. If I can continue down this path of recovery im sure it will be sooner than later. I wasn't very hungry today an am having some other physical problems that required a bit of flushing the system. So I had a red machine and pomegranate juice mixed w a lot of water.

For meals it was just one:
Salad w bacon, avocado, chicken, egg and vinegrette. Some sweet potato fries

Not bad for today. Very tired. Going to go see a fried who is in town then off to my bed. I'm happy tomorrow because I will have some time alone.

Day 15...Eating issues in action

So today was a success in some ways and a setback in others. I'm writing the blog today while driving back from california. I ended up having sugar today which gave me the usual high that I get from it. The good news is that I haven't binged or eaten nearly as much sugar and crap as I would have on past road trips. Understand that for me this is progress but it's also definitely not where I want to be overall. Tomorrow I start my next whole 30 which may end up going for longer. Google whole 30 for more info. Basically it's meats, fish, fruit, veggies, nuts and some yams. There are no other condements etc except for things like olives, artichoke hearts etc.You can also eat olive oil and coconut oil. No smoking, drinking, etc either. That part is fairly easy for me. So here's the food:

Meal 1: burger patty, 2 bacon strips, veggies, fries and a bit of mayo.

Meal 2: frappucchino, $6 low carb burger no cheese.

Meal 3: tbd

Remember setbacks don't need to lead to binges, self loathing etc. see you tomorrow.

2 weeks down...Happy Easter!

Two weeks down and I'm doing alright. Life has taken some interesting turns and as a result my anxiety is way up. I'm working hard on managing it using the various techniques I also happen to teach to my clients. It can be hard to heal and work towards becoming a better person. I commend anyone who is trying. Easter is all about resurrecting a part of oneself which I believe is happening in my life. After tomorrow I will be back from my trip and starting another whole 30. Which means no hookah or caffeine and some more limits on some of the food I eat. When I did this before, my anxiety went way down. One thing I have noticed even with my food like this is that I have very little depression.

Today's food:
Meal 1: I had 2 plates at brunch which consisted of meat, veggies, fruit and eggs. I limited myself to one mimosa and water even though it was unlimited.

Meal 2: A couple BBQ Ribs minis sauce and a bit of potato salad.

Happy Easter folks. Stay tuned because whole 30 can be a wild ride.

Day 13...tiring

Well today was good but tiring. I helped zamis family in Cali move. We worked 9 hrs and at least 8hrs of that was lifting and moving things. I am do sore and tired. Tho I realized I'm able to do a lot more than I could previously. I had less anxiety today. Maybe I need to stay away from caffeine.

Today's food:
Egg whites with veggie, fruit cup and turkey bacon.

Me 2: potato skins, prime rib, baked potato fried, veggides