Two Months Down!

Well, I am 8 weeks or two months into this year long challenge. I also recieved my 6mo abstinence token in OA yesterday. This has been a difficult yet important process for me. I'm finding that the longer I refrain from binging and compulsively eating, the more I am feeling my emotions. This is a double edged sword for me in some ways. On one hand, I am greatful for the ability to feel a wide range of emotions which ebb and flow through out the day. When I was in the throws of my food addicitons I felt my feelings in a very compartmentalized way. On the other hand, I am strongly feeling some rather unpleasant emotions as well. I'm using a lot of CBT and mindfulness practices to help me but sometimes it's hard.

I've still had trouble dialing in my food plan. Every so often I still give into the urge to eat gluten or sugar. This usually leads to me feeling sick but craving those foods even more. I don't binge but do find myself sneaking these foods into my meals. My goal for the next 4 weeks is to stay completely away from gluten, lactose (allergens) and sugar (including natural things like honey). I've also managed to stay away from snacking for the past couple of weeks and intend on keeping that practice. When I eat meals when I'm hungry, I seem to do better.

This new workout is really kicking my body into high gear. My fitness goal for the next 4 weeks is to lift 3x/wk and swim/do water aerobics 2x/wk. Both this goal and the one about food have to do with setting some bouandaries for myself as well. I have some strong inner children who have crazy temper tantrums when they don't get their own way. :) So, this will be interesting. The key is to follow my action plan which includes doing fun and healthy things when I'm starting to feel depressed/anxious. Also, to continue calling people who are supportive when things get shitty.

Thanks for reading and blessings to you on your journey. :)